Oh my precious gift, you are 6 years old today! I can remember the very moment I heard your cry for the first time, the first time I saw your swollen, blue face, and exactly what you felt like when they placed you in my arms for the first time. I remember when you were still in your birth mom's belly and I walked into the hospital room and said hello to your amazing birth mom, and I remember thinking that was the first time you heard my voice.
From day one, you have been a momma's boy, and I have treasured those moments in my heart. You needed me so much when you were tiny, and you worked so hard to meet your milestones. You were the chubbiest baby with the best giggle. I still hear that same giggle sometimes when you really laugh these days.
Dex, I say it all the time, but I truly mean it- you are everything I never knew I wanted. When I heard the words Down syndrome from your daddy's lips a few weeks before you were born, all I felt was a sense of inadequacy. I wasn't sure if I was who you needed to be your momma. I felt unprepared, and scared- not of Down syndrome, but that I wouldn't be enough. But oh, my boy, you and I just needed each other. I knew it the moment I held you and you looked up at me. You made me a momma, and I have loved every minute of being your momma.
We are in a new season now, you are becoming more independent- and I am having a harder time letting go than I should, but I beam with pride when I see you take those steps toward independence, and I am even more proud to see how proud of yourself you are. You are all boy and I love it- rough and tumble!
You also became a big brother this year. You weren't too sure about sharing momma at first, but now from the time you wake up, until bedtime, you want to be near your brother. I am so so excited to watch your relationship grow. I am so glad he has you to look up to, although you two couldn't be more different!
You and I share a love of food- sweets to be exact. Some of my favorite times are driving through starbucks for a green tea lemonade and a sweet treat, or watching you devour a cupcake at a party.
I could go on and on and on about how much I love you and how great you are! You are the best boy in the whole world, and I wouldn't change one thing about you.
You will always be my baby, and you will never be too big to snuggle your momma. I am honored that God chose me to be your forever momma.
I love you, Declan Janek, with my whole heart- even the crevices.